staying, going, staying, going...

Its has been just over 6 weeks since I have been back in montreal, and I'm just about to leave for parts of canada. After a short North American expedition I'm off, straight back to Australia and Byron Bay, just in time for the Splendour in the Grass music festival, where 18 000 people invade that small town for a weekend of rock madness. Sadly I have no tickets. But I've been assured the perimeter fences are a minor obstacle ...

I'm excited to go back, but I'll admit that my excitement is heavily overshadowed at the moment by the contentment I feel being back in Montreal. The city is alive, humming with the movement of people who are trying to make the most of these warm summer days before winter threatens us with its gaunt, autumn-colored fingers. So many old friendships in need of re-cementing, new friendships to hurriedly make a foundation for before I leave. So, dare I say it, I feel sad to leave Montreal. Sad to the point of fantasizing about staying a bit longer... I know what that would mean, tho. It starts with a Job, followed up by an apartment, then suddenly it feels *impossible* to leave again. At the moment I have the benefit of a very temporary living situation to help me stay focused (I'm unemployed and sleeping on a foam mattress on the floor at my sister's apartment - it has smurf sheets for heavens sake. Ok, maybe that's a perk...)

One of the exciting things about being back in Montreal was rediscovering the city i've known for so long, the city that is a part of me to the point of becoming invisible. It was invisible. When I lived there, the city was a totally ubiquitous part of my daily life. But now it suddenly exists again, and I'm dying to consciously rediscover my favorite parts of Montreal, so I can share them with others and appreciate them more fully. But to be honest, I'm beginning to think it's naive to believe you can ever see with any distance or impartiality anything you are/were once so close to. Maybe you can suspend partiality, as you 'suspend disbelief' when you watch a movie, but it's still a different creature from having fresh, naive eyes.

Since I had some free time on my hands, I decided to volunteer with the Montreal Fringe Festival a little bit, which was alot of fun, and I highly recommend it to anyone. I mostly worked the beer tent, which is a great job; it lets you socialize with guests and other volunteers and watch performances while you work. Being involved in the fringe reminded me of being at the Arts Factory a bit; it's a condensed, brief, emotionally intense experience of meeting people, forming bonds, some of which you know wont last past the fest, but you can pretend nonetheless.... And then some will, and you will be pleasantly surprised. I saw a few shows, including Degrassi! The Musical, which was a fun reminder of all the things I loved about that show, and Blastback Babyzap - a great sketchcomedy show from some truly brilliant actors. Ok, I may know these guys personally. But hear my honest, unbiased review: it rocked.

My transience has continued - combine couch surfing with not working and unusual amounts of going out drinking & dancing, and I feel like I'm still on the road! On the road, yet in a very familiar place. Familiar, and yet unfamiliar, since I've been experiencing the city in a truly different way than ever before in my life. It's been bizarre to say the least. But as a result of this 'continual travel', homesickness is starting to set in. (wondered when this would happen!) I'm starting to miss having a sense of connection with a place - an anchor. Being unanchored is a liberating feeling that goes hand in hand with an opportunity for some great personal discovery. It's great, until you start to feel like you're just... drifting. I guess it's time to refocus, to brush the dust off my shoes and bag and hit the road again. What luck, as I'm just about to exactly that.